The Night I Lost More Than My Dinner Looking back, I was ready to pass the lei that summer. I was seventeen, newly in college, away from mom and dad, and it was SUMMER. . I may as well have put a sign around my neck: “My virginity. Take it. Then I won’t worry about [...]

Tags: amount, Catholic, cock, cock tease, college, contraception, contract, contract syphilis, countless lives, dad, dante, date, death, Dianne Klammer, drugstore, everybody, fires, guilt, guts, hammering, idea, impalement, inferno, level, losing my virginity, love, matter, mom, mom and dad, motel room, prude, punani, roommate, sign, someone, sophomore year, Syphilis, vamp, way, what the heck
Filed under: Fiction

Daddy was already dressed with his leather bible in his hand when my brothers and I woke around 8:30. Church clothes were shirt, a tie and a pair of black “Payless,” shoes. Perhaps I would own a pair of “church shoes” like daddy when I get older as opposed to the “multipurpose” shoes I wore [...]

Tags: black, church clothes, church shoes, class, dad, daddy, doesn, event, everyone, everything, few minutes, god, gum, half, leather, leather bible, leather shoes, legs, maam, none, offerings, pack, pair, Payless, payless shoes, reason, shiny leather, shirt, smile, someone, special occasions, stewardship, store, Terry Brown, tie, ties, time, tithes, two dollars
Filed under: Fiction

When I was young I believed I would keep the same friends forever. My very first friend was a boy named Charlie. Charlie lived across the street in one of the better kept track houses that we all owned. Charlie’s family had dichondra while most of us had crabgrass. Dichondra is fancy one leaf round [...]

Tags: aggression, baseball glove, bee, bikes, board games, bully, charlie charlie, cowboys and indians, dad, dark brown hair, Dianne Klammer, dichondra, egg, enemies, everyone, family, friendship, gender, Glove, ignorant, insult, kid, klammer, leaf, mitt, moss, neighborhood, party, power, queen bee, round, segregation, sexes, skateboards, South America, street, time, toddlers, torturers, tree
Filed under: Fiction

Her hair was real black, an unnatural shade that Clairol advertised, with a fringe like Nico. She stood about 5’6, in her bare feet, but she looked taller. And she had swollen hips, but they were appealing. She was my friend. We fought tooth and nail, like Veronica and Betty or Joan Crawford and Bette [...]

Tags: ache, admirers, age, babysitter, back yard, beach, beachside community, beautiful woman, betrayals, bette davis, betty davis, black hair, blue eyes, boys in the trees, braid, break, cannot, chubby, city, clairol, class, college, dark eyes, doris day, Elizabeth Dunphey, face, free spirit, fruit, fur coat, good girls, haired girl, high school dance, high schools, hippie, irishman, joan crawford, languor, light, lip gloss, liz phair, losing weight, love, nature, power, puerto rican, purity, purr, Radley, replacement, semiotics, shop, Shore, shoulders, someone, something, son, spanish boy, teenage girls, time, tooth and nail, veronica, walking down the street, woman, work, year, yellow flowers, young flesh, young girl
Filed under: Fiction

East Boulder Community Center has a fence for lost articles. I’m certain of it. The woman’s locker room has a sign that says “East Boulder Community Center is not responsible for lost or stolen articles. Please report problems to staff immediately.” Now why would they care if they aren’t responsible? They want to KNOW, that’s [...]

Tags: boot camp, boulder community, bout, boxes, bricks, camp, Center, Community, diamond stud earring, Dianne Klammer, diarrhea, Dress, earring, east boulder community center, everything, exercise, fence, gym, gyms, home, klammer, locker, locker room, next morning, Nia, period, Place, report, roll, shirt, sign, stinky, Thursday, tiny diamond, verbal diarrhea, woman, yesterday, Zoomers, zoomers swim fins
Filed under: Fiction

I don’t know beans about sports, but I’m a die-hard fan of modern psychology. Therefore, when they are finished tossing dirt on my casket, and throwing the subsequent after-party to celebrate my departure, I at once request that my vast fortune, sprawling estate and remaining family members be rush-delivered to the accounts receivable department of [...]

Tags: accounts receivable department, awe, capital, casket, course, demigods, Diary, die hard, dr phil, drawer, dream, function, gaz, Gaz O’Connor, genius, girl, glossy magazines, hero, home, hypotheses, isn, misfortune, Monday, mountain, need, o connor, office, old dad, ordinary people, People Magazine, periodical, person, Place, postmen, president, psychoanalysis, psychologists, psychopath, publication profiles, shady character, Thursday, train, Wednesday, work
Filed under: Fiction